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Things Bisexuals Are Tired Of Hearing

Updated: Jan 11, 2023

Everyone has a coming-out story, mine isn’t really one of many dramas or thrills, it was more of an entertaining interlude, as I observed myself coming out from a spectator’s position, trying to make sense of my lady love.

The most entertaining part about coming out for me really was two months prior to that moment, I had absolutely no idea that I was bisexual until I was head-over-heels in love with a member of the same sex. Funny little thing, the heart.

Being so open with your gender preferences should make falling in love easier, one might think, but for all the bi-guys and gals out there, you will understand me when I say, it literally only makes things harder.

Imagine, having no real physical preference, but seeking soul connection. It exposes the heart to many more kinds of souls, some good, but as many are familiar, plenty bad.

But, my sweet girl, if you are already out in the world living your best-bi life, you will be very familiar with some of the tragically frivolous phrases, And if you’re on the cusp of letting the world know you’re all about the multiple-gender lovin’, please prepare yourself for some of the witty anecdotes friends, family and strangers are about to throw at you.

1. So, you’re greedy?

One of the most common and a personal favourite of mine. It’s not as if we’re having a go of everything at once? Sorry, unless you’re polyamorous.

2. So, you’re more straight than gay?

Yes, let me just get out my bisexual calculator and assimilate my bi-percentage for you, that’ll clear things up.

3. Everyone is a bit bisexual.

Do you say that to your straight friends, or just reserve it for us after a couple of vodka shots?

4. It’s just a phase, dear.

Of course my sexuality is just a phase, that really does clear everything up. Thank you for simplifying my sexual preferences for me. I can’t wait to be straight when I’m 40 (or dead).

5. Why can’t you just make up your mind?

Yes, we are the most indecisive creatures on Earth, of course. More so than the serial dater who dates 7 nights a week. You’re right, we’re just that changeable.

6. So, if we’re going to be in a relationship, will you need to have sex with the other gender? I’m worried you’ll think you’re missing out and cheat on me.

I’m worried that you think I’m that fickle. Thank you for the date, see you never.

7. But who do you prefer to have sex with?

This is like asking you to compare sexual notes from one partner to the next. They aren’t really comparable right? Each is unique, and you really cannot compare two entirely unique anatomies, they are just different.

8. If you’re with a woman, don’t you miss penis?

Yes, I long for it, every single night, while I’m wrapped around a beautiful woman…

So my bi-babes. Let’s start our allegiance to the bi-cause and start owning our right to not have to engage with uneducated responses to our sexuality. The next time you’re confronted with one of these incredibly intellectual debates, I urge you to answer with “Don’t you get bored of asking ridiculous questions that have absolutely nothing to do with you?”, hold your head high, and give them some swag as you walk away.

Until next time bessies


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