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The process of loving the self

The process of loving the self isn’t a linear path, our wounds walk with us until we move into a space of reflection, integration, and a state of love.

The grand reveal, the solitary encore, the unraveling of layers of self-deprecation, well that can take years.

But if we do not walk that path, the discomfort will manifest itself into our world in many other, unwelcome, and often unsuspecting ways. You see, if we were to look at life as a spectrum of two truths, love and fear, and fear has the power to override truth, but when we combat the fear, love becomes the essence.

Why am I saying all of this on a dating blog?

The tenderness of journeying through past love, or past hate tales of hearts amiss and collisions of near-love experiences has taught me so much about the core underneath the skin.

To imagine that there was ever such a lack of self-love, that prior to my cataloguing of experiences, or processing, I was just a big bundle of misdirected emotions all stewing into a melting pot of judgement and victim, “why me”.

We have the power to change our story, our narrative, every second of every day, and inherently we know this, but we also quickly forget this. Fear is what keeps us locked into detrimental patterns, and keeps us in line with a retired story that keeps us from glowing and flowing with life itself.

So how does fear link to the process of loving the self?

Every single story is different, as well as every path or past lover. But fear is in essence, a product of the mind, and a state of illusion, because if we do not fear, then there is nothing to fear. That may seem like a far-fetched concept, but I encourage you to sit with it for a moment.

So if you’ve never learned to sit with the fear, or the pain, or processed any moments where you have undervalued yourself, it is time to look at the root, and then it is time to go on a journey. The longer we abandon ourselves, the harder those journeys become, but to live in a state of wholeness, to attract the life you want, including the partner you may desire one day, and you start to realise - it all starts and ends with you, my dear.

What a powerful thought, that we all hold the power to transformation.

I accept, and I know from experience that loving ourselves is one of the hardest things we could ever do, yet it is the easiest, and most natural state of being, there is certainly some irony in that. But to start the process, to lift the lid, open the box, or to even begin to start rifling through the crevices of the psyche comes with great reward, freedom.

If you’re on that journey, or if you’ve started that journey, I see you, I stand with you, it isn’t a painless experience, it takes warrior-like courage, but remember, you deserve nothing else but pure, unfiltered love.

If anything you’ve read today resonates, my inbox is always open.

Until next time bessies


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