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How do we integrate in matters of the heart?

This is an article request, and one that has been on the agenda for a little while, but today felt like the appropriate moment to share my thoughts.

So, how do we integrate in matters of the heart? It all starts with the word, vun-er-ab-ility.

I am no expert on the nature of relationship equilibrium, in fact, I’ve spent many years hiding behind a golden shield, keeping my chambers safe from attack. Of course, this is a wonderful place to be, while you work on your inner wealth and vitality, and start to shed the years of unwanted “relationship” experiences, while you integrate better with yourself, your true state of being.

And then, you get caught off guard, and before you know it, the special you has now multiplied into a special “two”. But you’ve spent so long finding yourself here, in your centre, and now you need to explore the core between two vessels.

How do we integrate when we know that what has been before has created pain, disharmony and turmoil of spirit? We remember that all of those moments were lessons for us to reflect, then connect, then integrate, and there couldn’t have been any other way.

Every relationship takes you outside of yourself to eventually bring you back into yourself, for a deeper sense of meaning. The ability to love and extend yourself to another, and to trust them in the way they trust you is the most frightening thing we could ever do. To commit to a set of stories, and cross over timelines is a soul-shifting experience, and not one we can take lightly. And yet, there is a lightness to all of it, because all you did was show up to an exact place and time and say, “I think I’m ready”, and that is all there is.

The integration part once you’ve opened the heart, well, that is the easy bit.

Once we’re existing in a state of tenderness, the flow will define and guide us to the correct places, and spaces that are meant for us, so in a sense, we do not need to worry about the destination. In fact, fear and worry are the only things that disrupt that process, and those energetic disruptions only exist in thoughts, a recurring storyline you’ve told yourself that now plays on a sensory loop. This trick of the mind is a matter of illusion, and these are only projections of outcomes that you cannot fathom, or determine.

So if we consider that every single story we've lived has allowed us to be where we are, right here and now, we have the choice to offer new love the permission to be let in, without any comparison to past experiences, knowing that the present moment is the only thing there really is.

We can then, look onto a new loving experience with both wide eyes open, and allow true presence to be our true state. In this state we can relinquish any attachment to outcome, with an intention to love, and the rest will happen the way it is supposed to.

The real integration with another happens only when you say yes, and become comfortable with knowing that yes can last a day, a week or a lifetime.

So in summary, if you allow your heart to lead over mind, and you will be just fine, my darling.

Until next time bessies


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