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Can coffee really improve your sex life?

Short answer, YES. Long answer, it doesn't work for everyone, and you might have to give up coffee for a while to reap the true benefits (sacrilege).


So based on my own personal experiences, this information can be particularly useful for those who are averse to morning coitus.


You see, there are two types of morning people.


1. The tapper - This is he/she, the one that wakes up with a horn and knocks at your door asking for entry, persistently. They just don't get tired.

2. The Snapper - The snapper is resistant to the tapper's morning charms, and the more determined they become, the more the snapper prepares to bite. They aren't ideal morning companions.


A perfect match in an ideal world would be 2x snappers or 2x tappers, but this world isn’t made of roses, and with a 50/50 possible outcome as to what you’re bringing back to your holy space in pursuit of a good time, I feel it is always best to be as prepared as you can be for the tapper's morning glory.


So, for those snappers out there, like me, the answer may be simpler than you think. Sweet lord and savior, ground and roasted companion, shaken not stirred confidante, our liquid leisure, coffee.


Hum the words with me “no coffee, no entry!” Empowering, isn’t it?

Remember, if they want to get your skin chaffing and your booty dropping all before 9am, you have the right to demand your liquid fuel of choice first, it is the least they can do.


Our sweet coffee is a wondrous stimulant with more health benefits than we often notice, and in a caffeinated world, we overlook some of it’s wondrous properties. But today, we're here to talk about coffee and sex, two of life's purest pleasures, so see below for the top 5 reasons why coffee is your newest best friend in the bedroom.


1. Coffee boosts the libido in women


That is correct ladies, as well as increasing our heart rate and blood pressure, it can increase sexual arousal. Though coffee doesn’t create the desire, she’ll help you switch your light on, if you get what I mean.


2. Coffee helps treat erectile dysfunction


It has been proven that coffee consumption reduces the symptoms of erectile dysfunction by increasing blood flow and testosterone levels in the blood. I mean, good to know!


3. Coffee increases endurance


Just as your PT will tell you to shot an espresso before a workout, the same applies to copulation. So get those doubles in you if you want to go the whole morning.


4. Coffee reduces stress


Though this may sound counter-intuitive to popular belief, it is true. Coffee consumption reduces stress levels, especially in cases of chronic stress, while also reducing negative emotions (depression and dysthymia). A reduced state of stress puts us more in the present moment, and more in the mood.


5. Coffee is an aphrodisiac


The worst part about this glorious epiphany is the more coffee we drink, the more desensitised we become to retrieving the love-tingles while chugging back our favourite latte. To feel the more seductive benefits of caffeine, one must abstain from it. (No, I didn’t think so either).


Who knew that our favourite roasted brew was so multifaceted? Coffee really is the gift of the Earth that keeps giving, and better still is the perfect gift from him, if he wants to get giving. So snappers, hold your morning power and send him to the kitchen, he must earn the right to tickle your flower.


And sister, next time wake up and smell the beans before he even thinks about flipping yours.


Until next time bessies

x


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